there is a 42069% chance there is an immature joke hidden in this post

(via cherribomb4ever)




I gave a blow job today

how did it go?

I sucked

(via pierce-the-sirens-at-the-horizon)


my mom has been a cop for over 20 years and she is the one who constantly warns me about police aggression and young male cops and told me that if you’re ever alone on a rural road and a cop throws their lights on to put on your four ways and drive to the next gas station before stopping because so many cops are scum and it’s not worth the chance of getting hurt. the fact that SHE feels the need to tell me this shit scares me to death

(via supercalifragic-yosuckmydick)


my self-esteem is like patrick stump’s voice it’s either high as fuck or lower than the pits of hell

(via g-gavinfree)


im so sad about stucky like all the time like i’m at lunch with my mom and she’s like “so what are u gonna have to eat?” and i’m like “mom please. steve rogers dropped his shield because he couldn’t fight bucky. he let bucky punch the shit out of him because it was the best option he had. he stole his old uniform from a museum to wear when he went up against bucky in the hopes it would spark his memory. i’m having pasta.”

(via carry-on-my-wayward-nun)

serving size: 4


all 4 me

(Source: jesusthelastairbender, via sixfeetunderjagksstars)